David Beckham’s 50th-birthday celebrations were as meticulously engineered as any royal engagement. There was a black-tie event in Florida with some of the world’s top athletes, a lavish party in the Cotswolds, a trip to Bordeaux on a rented $44.7 million private jet, and then dinner with Tom Cruise and Gordon Ramsay at a swanky Notting Hill restaurant.

This rolling cluster of soirées was designed to send an undeniable message to the world: he might be getting on a bit, but David Beckham still has a royally perfect life.