The Attention-Whore Index

After three years cataloguing the world’s most insufferable showboaters, the Attention-Whore Index waves good-bye (and good riddance!)

By George Kalogerakis

Photo Illustration by Chop Choppish Shop

Let’s turn away for now from the daily atrocities and, yes, vulgarities inflicted by first-ever FIFA Peace Prize laureate Donald Trump: we have a poll result to report in this bittersweet special edition of the Attention-Whore Index.

Back before the Thanksgiving holiday, well before the prestigious FIFA accolade, Trump had a week for the ages: caving on the Epstein files; feuding with Marjorie Taylor Greene; defending Tucker Carlson and Nick Fuentes; “Quiet, piggy”; selling out Ukraine; calling for the “DEATH!” (by hanging) of six Democratic lawmakers; and, let us not forget, the indelible insight that “things”—by which he meant the murder and dismemberment of journalists—“happen.” Trump won his seventh straight, with nearly 70 percent of your vote, a performance calling to mind such historic real-world election victories as Saddam Hussein’s (Iraq, 2002; 100 percent) and Kim Jong Un’s (North Korea, 2014; 100 percent).