When I tell people I’m not drinking, the questions follow, rapid-fire: Do you feel so much better? Is your skin clearer? Did you lose weight? (Rude.) How’s your sleep—amazing, right?
Not really. Nope. Sorry. The only thing that’s different is that I feel more boring, if such a thing were possible. And when I go out at night, I’m also slightly bored. Unspirited. Dispirited. Popping bottles of sparkling water, swigging Shirley Temples. While everyone else becomes increasingly more hilarious, I do not. This not-drinking business? It’s a snooze.
