The Attention-Whore Index

Marjorie Taylor Greene demands that a judge take it all off, Mrs. Kanye West comes dangerously close to losing her “shirt,” and Clarence Thomas courts a strange bedfellow

Sure, Donald Trump did well in South Carolina and Michigan—in the sense that he won those primaries—but he fared far less impressively, as some have pointed out, among Republican voters, and even worse, as we are pointing out now, among Attention-Whore Index voters. In fact, Trump lost our poll last week, fading to a distant second behind his fellow Putin apologist Tucker Carlson (who is definitely having a moment; it’s Carlson’s second A.W.I. win out of the last three) and finishing a mere preternaturally-orange-hair’s breadth ahead of Prince Harry. The tally: Carlson 38.3 percent, Trump 21.5 percent, Sussex 21 percent. (Travis Kelce, who isn’t exactly keeping a low profile of late, was a respectable fourth with 11.7 percent.)

The nominees in this week’s edition of the Attention-Whore Index Poll are …