He’s been in high gear again, chiefly by giving voice to his long-standing bromance with Vladimir Putin, so it’s no surprise that Donald Trump won more of your votes than anyone else last week, taking 43.8 percent. With him it’s always a landslide; in fact, the biggest in history, right? Unless, of course, it’s rigged. Second place went to Robert F. Kennedy Jr. with 19.9 percent (that creepy Super Bowl commercial), and third to Jennifer Lopez with 15.9 percent (that big payday in Dubai, though one suspects the streaming release of This Is Me … Now: A Love Story, her $20 million self-financed vanity project, might have significantly helped her cause, A.W.I.-wise).
The nominees in this week’s edition of the Attention-Whore Index Poll are …
1.
TUCKER CARLSON
Speaking of Putin bromancers: this one stayed busy, furiously spinning his Moscow sojourn and feeble interview turned propaganda op with the Russian leader, which was ill received by pretty much everyone, including Putin himself (“To be honest, I thought that he would behave aggressively and ask so-called sharp questions … Frankly, I did not get full satisfaction from this interview”). One of Carlson’s rationalizations, “Every leader kills people. Leadership requires killing people,” was soon followed—how awkward—with news of Alexei Navalny’s death. Poor Tucker! Such unlucky timing. Tragic, really.
2.
PRINCE HARRY
Was his long trek from Montecito, California, to Clarence House and back for a 30-minute audience with his father the impulsive act of a concerned, loving son—or an attention-getting obligation to be crossed off a list? Was the rebranding of his and Meghan’s Web site (and offspring!) under the Sussex rubric just business—or just business as usual? How about the couple’s whirlwind Canadian tour, centered on an Invictus Games banquet in Vancouver, with a little daredevil bobsledding, plus serenading by Michael Bublé on the side—success, or failure? And what to make of Harry’s “willing[ness] to return to a temporary royal role in support of his father during his illness,” as The Times of London claimed? Or of the Mirror’s report that such a return would be “blocked” by William, who feels his brother and Meghan “cannot be trusted”? Whatever your views, he’s everywhere again.
3.
TRAVIS KELCE
For Taylor Swift’s beau, it’s been all the wrong kind of attention post–Super Bowl (during which he’d already raised eyebrows with that on-camera shove of his coach, Andy Reid). Kelce was among the handful of Chiefs players who proceeded with a planned—albeit “scaled-down”—party at a Kansas City sports bar hours after the mass shooting at the Super Bowl parade. Five days after the shooting—the equivalent of late in the fourth quarter—Kelce and his brother Jason finally released a statement of support for Kansas City.
4.
DONALD TRUMP
Turned up at a trade show in Philadelphia to hawk Trump “Never Surrender Sneakers”—gold-laced, T-embossed, flag-emblazoned high-tops. At $399, he’ll need to sell only 1,127,819 pairs to cover the fine and penalties imposed by New York State over his fraudulent business practices. Was reported by The New York Times to have said privately that he will favor a 16-week abortion ban (“Know what I like about 16? It’s even. It’s four months”). Ranked last among all U.S. presidents in a new poll of 154 historians. Explained his repeated mistaking of Nancy Pelosi for Nikki Haley: turns out he did it on purpose! “So it’s very hard to be sarcastic when I interpose [sic],” he said. “And when I purposely interpose names, they said, ‘He didn’t know Pelosi from Nikki, from tricky Nikki.’ I interpose and they make a big deal out of it.” Finally found the words (most of the words: one, “Putin,” was glaringly missing) with which to honor Navalny, whose death, Trump posted movingly, “has made me more and more aware of what is happening in our Country. It is a slow, steady progression, with CROOKED, Radical Left Politicians, Prosecutors, and Judges leading us down a path to destruction. Open Borders, Rigged Elections, and Grossly Unfair Courtroom Decisions are DESTROYING AMERICA. WE ARE A NATION IN DECLINE, A FAILING NATION!”
5.
ELISE STEFANIK
The potential Trump running mate continued her audition by filing a complaint against Letitia James, accusing the New York attorney general of “conducting a biased investigation and prosecution” in her fraud case against the former president. The Republican representative, NBC noted, “has filed multiple ethics complaints against judges associated with cases against Trump or the Jan. 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol,” including one against Judge Arthur Engoron, who just handed Trump that $450 million bill for his fraud conviction—a fine about which Trump commented, “It’s a form of Navalny.”
6.
LIZWANI
A social-media prankster joined the cast and crew of Oppenheimer at the BAFTA podium while they accepted the award for best picture. Unnoticed. From The Times of London: “Wearing a suit and a skullcap, the YouTuber stood behind the others and to the left of [Cillian] Murphy as [Emma] Thomas gave her acceptance speech. Lizwani spent most of the time looking down and cracked a few smiles before joining everyone in applause at the end.” He was later removed by security. Well, at least he didn’t give an overlong speech. —George Kalogerakis
George Kalogerakis, a Writer at Large at AIR MAIL, worked at Spy, Vanity Fair, and The New York Times, where he was deputy op-ed editor. He is a co-author of Spy: The Funny Years and a co-editor of Disunion: A History of the Civil War
