Since her debut book, I Was Told There’d Be Cake (2008), Sloane Crosley has released three essay collections and two novels. (Not to mention her mountain of magazine articles.) Now comes a memoir. In Grief Is for People, which publishes on February 27, Crosley reflects on a year of immense loss. Five years ago, her apartment was robbed, and her family heirlooms vanished. Shortly after, her former boss and close friend, Russell Perreault, a veteran book publicist, died by suicide. Despite the grim subject, Crosley maintains her wit. Ahead of her book tour, she answers our questionnaire about what she packs, eats, and buys while traveling.
Last flight you took?
Round trip to Madrid for work.
Favorite airline?
Delta.
What do you wear to the airport?
When people say they have a travel uniform, I’m pretty sure they mean a category of garment, like Joan Didion. These people know nothing of consistency: I wear one of two pairs of black tights, the same long, gray T-shirt I’ve had for 15 years, the same trench coat, black sneakers, and a long scarf that doubles as my plane blanket. It’s from a brand called A Peace Treaty.
How long before your flight boards do you get to the airport?
Thirty minutes. Unless it’s international. In which case? Two years.
Check bags, or carry-on only?
Carry-on. Unless I’m going to multiple cities. Even then, you wind up being the one person at baggage claim in San Francisco, coming from Portland, who is not picking up a tuba.
What’s in your carry-on?
Well, everything. All the things. Since there’s rarely some other annex of my belongings on the plane.
T.S.A. PreCheck, or regular?
PreCheck.
Favorite airport?
Locally, I don’t have one. I can’t imagine being inclined towards one New York–area airport or another for any reason other than distance. Globally, the airport in Anchorage comes to mind. They have a gift shop called Moosellaneous.
What do you buy in the airport terminal?
Any magazine to which I don’t subscribe. And a bottle of water.
What do you do while waiting to board?
I read or play with my phone. Though, when I sense my boarding group drawing nigh, I’m competitive. You would never know it. I’m very good at hiding it and would obviously never explain how.
Items you can’t fly without?
Noise-canceling headphones and disgusting gum. Like something called Jackfruit Watermelon Salt Explosion would do. I’m convinced the grosser the flavor, the more saliva it produces and the more it helps with ear-popping.
Do you take any drugs or drink alcohol to fly?
I always bring Xanax because I am bad with turbulence, but I rarely use it because I usually have to be functional when I land.
First class or coach?
Coach.
Window, middle, or aisle seat?
Window. Who answers “middle” to this question?
How do you pass the time on the plane?
Reading and movies and, if I’m lucky, writing. I have never slept on a plane ride that’s under eight hours. Not once. It’s a curse. Drugs make it worse because then I still can’t sleep and I’m that much crankier about the situation.
Do you buy Wi-Fi?
No, I like to pretend it’s broken.
Favorite airplane snack?
Dried mango. It’s so outrageously priced everywhere, I don’t feel like I’m being ripped off if I buy it at the airport, either.
Do you eat plane food?
I do. I get the vegetarian option. Strangely, I never eat the dessert. Airlines get too creative with desserts. It’s always this sad, oversize pod of whipped frozen pudding with an Americana name, something you’d pay not to eat on the ground. The best food I’ve ever had was on a Cathay Pacific flight from Hong Kong. I don’t even remember the meal—only that I did not suffer.
Best drink to get on a flight?
I don’t drink on flights. Maybe a glass of red wine.
Do you talk to the people sitting next to you?
About what? No. Though I once bonded with the woman next to me as we were deplaning in Boston. She came to my reading that night. I was completely delighted.
Shoes on or off?
On.
What do you do when turbulence hits?
Nothing good. I close my eyes and grip to one of the armrests. I have breathing exercises, little things like imagining I’m on a surfboard. I just do so poorly with turbulence. Though I do even worse with people who then assure me of airplane safety. Not my problem. My problem is all my organs trying to escape through my throat at once. I don’t like roller coasters either.
Worst part of the flight?
Somewhere between losing the view and cruising altitude. There’s so much ahead of you, like your subconscious is starting to register the experience as this old chestnut.
First thing you do when the plane lands?
Unbuckle my seat belt. It would be unfortunate if, after all that defiance of nature, I cracked my head open because the plane, I don’t know, ran over a pile of bricks. But also? A little funny.
Advice for travelers?
Hydrate. And plan everything within an inch of its life, then don’t think about it again until the day of. This way it feels like you had a personal assistant. Even though that little girl? That little girl was you.
