The Knights of the Round Table quested in search of the Holy Grail. Ponce de León scoured Florida for the Fountain of Youth. Alchemists sought the philosopher’s stone that would transmute base metal into gold. And for the last decade and a half marketing people have been obsessed with reaching millennials.

I am no marketing expert, but so relentless has the bombardment of demographic pseudo-science been (my favorite was the introduction that I received into the mysteries of something called “millennial pink”) that I believe we have been overcomplicating things.