You have no reason to watch Brooklyn Beckham’s new cooking show, Cookin’ with Brooklyn. First, you probably care very little about Brooklyn Beckham. Second, it airs on a platform that can be accessed only through Facebook’s instant-messaging service, which in terms of prestige makes it roughly equivalent to a GIF of a cat in a toilet. But, also, it’s deeply uncomfortable to watch. Cookin’ with Brooklyn is a documentary about a man wildly out of his depth.
Brooklyn is the oldest son of David and Victoria Beckham. And, to put it politely, he isn’t a chef. In one episode, he decides to invent a fish-and-chips bagel to impress a tattoo artist. He does this by visiting a food truck and then passively watching while the owner makes the bagel for him. Aside from the bit at the end where he dollops on, objectively, too much coleslaw, he genuinely may as well not be there. Each episode reportedly cost $100,000 to make, which does seem rather excessive for eight minutes of a guy standing next to someone making a sandwich.
