It’s not uncommon for a marriage to end in tears. But it’s unnerving when a union begins with them. Back in 2011, at the three-day wedding celebrations of Prince Albert of Monaco to his new bride, Charlene Wittstock, the Euro hacks drooled over the dress (Armani Privé, if you’re asking, with 40,000 Swarovski crystals), the guests (Naomi Campbell, Roger Moore, and Nicolas Sarkozy tucked into the seafood buffet), and the party itself (at which the Eagles played in a tribute to the baby-mouthed tastes of the ultra-rich).

But they seemed more animated still by the damp eyes of the fresh princess, whose tears, it’s probably now fair to say, weren’t those of overwhelming joy and beaming love—but of impending terror and doom.