You might say it was the fashion police who thwarted an attempted early-morning raid by a half-dozen masked men on a cash machine in Rome’s Oly Hotel: the fashion police as embodied by six Miss Universe contestants kicking back after a local round of the competition. “It was close to 4 am and suddenly we heard the concierge rushing into the lobby yelling ‘thieves!’” one competitor, Anthea Del Negro, 19, told The Times of London. “I gathered up my violet evening dress and rushed over to him with the others, which wasn’t easy because of my heels…. When the bandits saw us they were surprised and backed off.” The hotel’s owner also credited the element of surprise—“Suddenly it was six versus six”—and, said the paper, a police official noted “that beauty queens would have been the last people the robbers expected to encounter.” Is there a movie franchise in this?

Dillermand using his penis to tame a lion and charm the kiddies.

Clearly detecting an opening in the cultural landscape, the Danish broadcaster DR Ramasjang has just premiered a stop-go animated show for four-to-eight-year-olds about a man who has the world’s longest penis, and the high jinks that inevitably ensue. His name is John Dillermand, which translates to “John Penisman.” Did we mention the show is geared to four-to-eight-year-olds? The member in question is not realistically rendered—it’s red-and-white-striped and looks something like a very long garden hose—and Dillermand uses it as a whip to save children from a lion, but also, for instance, to steal ice cream from them. Opinion, unsurprisingly, is divided. Quoted in The Guardian,the author Anne Lise Marstrand-Jørgensen asked, “Is this really the message we want to send to children while we are in the middle of a huge #MeToo wave?” But Erla Heinesen Højsted, a clinical psychologist, noted that “John Dillermand talks to children and shares their way of thinking—and kids do find genitals funny.”