If only you could drain the Hamptons of 90 percent of its summer population, raze a few hundred gaudy, oversize beach homes, and begin systematically reclaiming the potato fields and wooded areas, acre by exorbitant acre, the East End of Long Island might again become a pleasant place to spend some time. Certainly that particular daydream resurfaced with a vengeance when news of the knuckleheaded shenanigans surrounding the Safe & Sound drive-in event for a few local children’s charities, held on July 25 in Water Mill, first broke.

In case you missed it, celebrants paid as much as $25,000 to attend the evening’s festivities at the 95-acre sculpture park Nova’s Ark, in what the promoters promised would be “a safe and controlled environment, setting the bar for all events to come.” Given the price of admission, one hopes it was an open bar.