James Frey knows what it is like to have been up and down and over and out. Ever since Oprah Winfrey publicly shamed him for fabricating parts of his 2003 memoir, A Million Little Pieces, he’s adopted a Sinatra-esque “That’s Life” attitude. He’s rolled with the punches of cancel culture—but 20 years later, he’s punching back. His new novel, Next to Heaven, centers on a swingers’ party and a murder. It’s sexy, funny, and unafraid to voice taboos—much like Frey’s early work. (Except, this time, there’s no need to call in a fact-checker.) To celebrate its release, the author shares his least favorite things. —Carolina de Armas
Least favorite number: 45 or 47.
Least favorite color: Chartreuse green. Unpleasant ’80s memories associated with it. Drinks, clothes, inhalants, projectiles.
Least favorite team: Team-shared Google document. Never ends well.
Least favorite James Bond: The recent ones. The fun is gone. The sex is gone. The aura is gone.
Preferred deadly sin: Like my children, I love them all equally, and far too much to choose a favorite.
Food that makes you gag: I dated a model who only ate canned beets from Costco. I didn’t believe it when she told me, but in the year I knew her, I never saw her eat anything else. Something about it creeped me out. Still does. The redness, the juice, the sound. No beets for me.
Book you never finished: William Strunk Jr. and E. B. White’s Elements of Style.
Film you walked out of: The last James Bond.
Song you never want to hear again: Kid Rock’s entire catalogue.
Character from history you most dislike: Fuck. Too many choices.
Item of clothing you would never wear: Tight or formfitting underwear.
Worst form of transport: Back seat of a law-enforcement vehicle.
Favorite curse word: “Motherfucker.” It has weight. It has power. It has humor. It can be used in so many ways. Almost every moment is better with a “motherfucker” thrown into it.
Least favorite habit (in you): Being a motherfucker.
Least favorite habit (in others): Close talking. Even worse when the person is drunk. Even worse when they don’t realize they are sharing their spittle.
Least favorite apology: When I have hurt someone I love.
Least favorite conversational topics: Politics; money.
Least favorite present you’ve received: I’m happy whenever anyone gives me anything.
Worst career moment: I’ve had a few. I’ve learned to laugh at them all; laugh that I still get to do it.
Person you’d least like to share a lifeboat with: Depends on the rules of the lifeboat. Am I allowed to throw someone out of it?
Words you’d hate to have spoken behind your back: It’s all been said already. Sometimes it hurts. It’s almost always forgotten.
Thing you said but wish you hadn’t: “Go fuck yourself.”
Thing you didn’t say but wish you had: “Go fuck yourself.”
Worst advice you’ve ever gotTEN: “Just say yes. It’s easier.”
Worst advice you’ve ever given: “Just say yes. It’s easier.”
Last words before execution: I’d tell my children I love them, and I’d tell whoever was killing me to go fuck themselves.
James’s Inessentials
