The saying goes, “Jack of all trades, master of none,” but Aziz Ansari is the exception to the rule—though he insists he’s not. The stand-up comedian traded the stage for the screen when he took on the role of the underachieving city official Tom Haverford in the Amy Poehler–led sitcom Parks and Recreation. (“Sometimes you have to work a little to ball a lot.”) Shortly after, he created the two-time Emmy Award–winning Netflix comedy series starring himself, Master of None—and then went on to master plenty more. He hosted Saturday Night Live, performed at the Upright Citizens Brigade, and even co-wrote a book on love with a sociologist. Now the multi-hyphenate is taking a stab at directing with his debut, supernatural comedy, Good Fortune, which he stars in alongside Keanu Reeves, Seth Rogen, and Keke Palmer. To celebrate its release, Ansari shares his least favorite things. —Carolina de Armas
Least favorite number: 47. Nothing good comes in sets of 47. Be wary.
Least favorite color: That bright highlighter yellow. Though it is useful for highlighting text … Hmm …
Least favorite team: Isn’t the only answer the Washington Redskins? Are they still called that? They’re not? O.K., still not into it.
Least favorite James Bond: I genuinely enjoy them all. And may I share my favorite Bond moment? The opening of The Spy Who Loved Me, where he’s in the ski cabin and has to leave his lady. (“But James, I need you!” “So does England!”) Then the lady turns on Bond and calls on some ski goons. Bond outruns the baddies with some bonkers skiing—complete with great shots of Roger Moore clearly not doing his own stunts.
Preferred deadly sin: Boozy lunch with martinis and/or fine wines.
Food that makes you gag: Sweetbreads. I once had dinner with a friend who thought it was like a small, cinnamon-sugary bread and was aghast to learn it was the thymus glands of a cow.
Book you never finished: I’m reading The Magus now. It’s 700 pages. I haven’t finished yet but pushing through.
Film you walked out of: Never fully walked out, but as a child I do remember being quite disappointed with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time. Bless my mom for taking me.
Worst form of transport: That bus that takes you from a long, delayed flight to the terminal during peak sun time during a hot summer.
Preferred form of revenge: Ignore and move on …
Favorite curse word: “Faaccccckkkkk.”
Least favorite habit (in you): I often zone out and get in my own head—but many creative types do this, and maybe it’s something we need?
Least favorite habit (in others): When you ask people for an opinion on something, say, “Which restaurant should we go to for dinner?” And they say, “Down for whatever.” This isn’t helpful! I’m asking for help in making a decision! But, in truth, I do appreciate the flexibility.
Least favorite apology: “I’m sorry about unleashing those hornets in your house. I thought they were secured.”
Least favorite conversational topic: An engaged convo without modern distractions is always a delight. Unless maybe it’s some odd tirade against a minority group—not into that at all!
Least favorite present you’ve received: I secretly don’t love physical gifts. I like minimizing my “stuff” and just spending time with friends and family.
Worst New York City moment: Stepped on a moving rat as I was discussing moving back to New York—and I still did!
Person you’d least like to share a lifeboat with: This customer-service agent I once had at United Airlines in Newark.
Words you’d hate to have spoken behind your back: “Did you hear Aziz went on that elephant-poaching trip? Apparently he’s really into ivory. So not cool!” (I’m not, so would be a bummer rumor. Love elephants.)
Worst advice you’ve ever gotTEN: “I know the shellfish is supposed to be bad here, but those rumors aren’t true. Order as much as you’d like!”
Last words before execution: “Oh well.”
Aziz’s Inessentials
