As American democracy enters its final weekend, we’re all feeling a bit wistful. But even after Mendacity, Crudeness & Incompetence: The Sequel hijacks all our screens—large, small, mental—on Monday, we can take some solace in knowing that the Attention-Whore Index, at least, will continue to be scrupulously tabulated and 100 percent accurate. No alternative realities here, just the grim actual one we (and you, the voters) celebrate and reward each week.
Regarding which, perennial A.W.I. champion Donald Trump, who hates to lose—and has won 41 of these things—will not be pleased with last week’s results. Elon Musk, coming off his bid to rule the world, won easily, doubling the felon/president-elect’s total (47.3 percent to 23.4 percent). Newly rebranded Everyduchess homebody Meghan Markle was third, with 12.4 percent.
