Some desperate hope for political gain, plus vanity and a need for attention, were presumably behind the eyebrow-raising synergy stab from Donald Trump and the vile provocatrice Laura Loomer. (You remember her—the one who cheers the drowning of immigrants at sea, and whose support Trump welcomed.) Here, it’s mainly the second and third of those motivations (vanity, attention) that concern us, and this was reflected in the results: Trump’s 29 percent got him yet another A.W.I. win. Loomer was a close second (25 percent). And the anti-porn porn-site regular Mark “black NAZI!” Robinson (15 percent) clearly stepped up in a big way. Not even Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and J. D. Vance (tied for fourth, with 7.1 percent) could compete with that.
The nominees in this week’s edition of the Attention-Whore Index Poll are …
1.
DONALD TRUMP
On it goes. Regarding Kamala Harris and Tim Walz: “They’re scum. They’re scum.” To a Jewish group: “If I don’t win this election … the Jewish people would really have a lot to do with a loss.... I really haven’t been treated very well, but that’s the story of my life.” On immigrants: “Every job in this country produced over the last two and a half years has gone to illegal aliens… They’re coming from Africa. They’re coming from the Middle East. They’re coming from all over the world… You got to get rid of these people.” As for women: “[They] will no longer be thinking about abortion.... I will protect women at a level never seen before. They will finally be healthy, hopeful, safe, and secure. Their lives will be happy, beautiful, and their lives will be great again. So women, we love you. We’re going to take care of you.”
2.
SEAN COMBS
Diddy is under arrest and currently in prison in Brooklyn, bunking alongside Sam Bankman-Fried, bail denied, on the receiving end of a 14-page federal criminal indictment involving racketeering, bribery, sex trafficking, kidnapping, arson, and a few other things. Notably, he’s accused of being an enthusiast of “freak-offs,” days-long sexual marathons staged in hotel suites for his pleasure. Combs has pleaded not guilty.
3.
ROBERT F. KENNEDY JR.
Reportedly bragged to friends that the reporter Olivia Nuzzi had sent him “demure” nude photos, a classy revelation that made its way back to New York’s editor, who placed Nuzzi on leave. Then Kennedy’s wife, Cheryl Hines, was spotted at a Fashion Week party in Milan—though her wedding ring was not. Meanwhile, Kennedy was still fighting to get his name on New York State’s ballot—on Friday, the Supreme Court turned him down—even as he’s been trying to have it removed from ballots in swing states as a favor to Trump. Not bad, but if he wants to remain a regular presence on these ballots—i.e., the Attention-Whore Index—we might need some new stories involving dead animals.
4.
MARK ROBINSON
The scandalized Republican nominee for governor of North Carolina declined to drop out of the race, even though several members of his campaign staff resigned following CNN’s report. (The Washington Post later added that on one porn site Robinson had posted, “Mein Kampf is a good read.”) He has denied the allegations: “This is not us. These are not our words. And this is not anything that is characteristic of me.” A couple of people actually seem to believe him. For instance …
5.
J. D. VANCE
“Allegations aren’t necessarily reality.” That was Vance’s take on the Robinson matter. (Trump? He completely avoided the issue, even campaigning in North Carolina without mentioning Robinson, whom he’d previously likened to Martin Luther King Jr.) As for Vance: Continued to advance hateful false claims about Haitian immigrants. Continued to defend advancing hateful false claims about Haitian immigrants. Mispronounced “Haiti” (“Haitia”).
6.
ELON MUSK
Too many distractions—can’t a billionaire know-it-all be left in peace so he can focus on getting an unhinged demagogue elected president? Bad enough that Musk’s battle with Brazil’s Supreme Court over X’s presence in that country dragged on. Now the Putin-friendly Chechen warlord whom he previously denied having bestowed with a Tesla Cybertruck has become, according to CNN, an unhappy alleged Tesla customer. Ramzan Kadyrov accused Musk of “remotely disabling” the Cybertruck, which had been outfitted with a machine gun and sent to fight against Ukraine, causing it to be towed from the battlefront. “What Elon Musk did was not nice,” Kadyrov said, sounding hurt. “He gives expensive gifts from the heart and then remotely switches them off.”
7.
Jared Kushner
After the memorable twin accomplishments Kushner engineered back in 2020—his “vision for peace” (which solved the Middle East problem that had vexed generations) and his “great success story” (nipping the coronavirus in the bud just a month after it hit)—it seemed as if there was nothing this charismatic overachiever couldn’t do. Turns out he really knows how to make money, too—though not necessarily for anyone else. A Senate Finance Committee inquiry found that Affinity Partners, Kushner’s private-equity firm, “has been paid at least $112 million in fees since 2021 by Saudi Arabia and other foreign investors, even though as of July it had not yet returned any profits to the governments largely bankrolling the firm,” The New York Times reported.
8.
Eric Adams
Maybe it was FOMO. Or maybe, with great swaths of his administration being subpoenaed, or having their homes searched and phones seized, or just resigning, it was only a matter of time. In any event, on Thursday, Adams was indicted on federal criminal charges (bribery and fraud). New York City’s once fun-loving mayor declared his innocence in a pre-emptive video message, saying that any charges would be “entirely false, based on lies” and that “I always knew that if I stood my ground for New Yorkers that I would be a target—and a target I became.” So whatever he allegedly did, except that he didn’t, he didn’t not do it for us.
9.
RAYNE BEAU
Cats tend to underplay their presence, so this Siamese two-year-old’s ostentatious 800-mile journey, which ended in a happy reunion with his owners, caught A.W.I.’s eye. You probably heard: vanished on a Yellowstone camping trip in June; given up for lost; resurfaced two months later in California, just a few hours from home. That home is a little bit south of San Francisco, and the town the cat turned up in is a little bit north: given the feline’s name, he was probably headed for Haight-Ashbury. Circa 1967. —George Kalogerakis
George Kalogerakis, a Writer at Large at AIR MAIL, worked at Spy, Vanity Fair, and The New York Times, where he was deputy op-ed editor. He is a co-author of Spy: The Funny Years and a co-editor of Disunion: A History of the Civil War
