The results of last week’s competition were never much in doubt, given the presidential debate: 90 prime-time minutes of high-volume, mendacious foaming at the mouth will do wonders for your Attention-Whore Index numbers. Donald “Concepts of a Plan” Trump won handily with 40.5 percent. His running mate, the reliably offensive J. D. Vance, was second (16.3 percent); and Nazi-friendly prepster Tucker Carlson, third (13.7 percent). The 48 percent of Americans polled who confessed they’d unaccountably be voting for Trump-Vance placed fourth (11.5 percent). What chance does even an accomplished Attention Whore like Elon Musk (fifth, 9.3 percent) have among such a field?
The nominees in this week’s edition of the Attention-Whore Index Poll are …
