Our winner last week was Donald Trump’s Right Ear. Hands down—or lobes down?—with 45 percent of the vote. Which makes us wonder: Given that the desperately needy subhuman attached to that ear wins this competition more than anyone—he may no longer have a choke hold on the presidency, but he still does on the Attention-Whore Index—maybe we should divvy him up? Donald Trump’s Hair could be a candidate some appropriate week, Donald Trump’s Short Fingers another, and so forth.
In any case, the Ear was followed by Lauren Boebert (18.7 percent) and Kamala Harris (18.1 percent). We were surprised at quixotic presidential candidate Marianne Williamson’s poor showing (2.3 percent). That doesn’t augur well for her chances in November.
