Oh. My. God. Could there be a better show? Thirty years on from the pilot, the sitcom about six friends in New York is still immensely popular, topping the list of most streamed shows on Netflix in the UK last year.
The stars, Jennifer Aniston (Rachel), Courteney Cox (Monica), Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe), David Schwimmer (Ross), Matt LeBlanc (Joey) and Matthew Perry (Chandler), became household names and lines like “how you doin’?” and “we were on a break!” are synonymous with Nineties feelgood TV. After the tragic death of Perry last year, the ten series stand as a testament to his work.
So, in celebration of three decades of Friends, the creators and other members of the cast and crew look back at how they made it, from why they chose deep lilac for the door to the public’s reaction to a lesbian wedding. And, of course, the funniest moments. Pivoooooot!
The Ones Who Had the Idea
Marta Kauffman and David Crane, creators
The origin story
Marta Kauffman: We went to college together. Afterwards, when we landed in New York, we became part of a friends group.
David Crane: We pursued theater in New York for a good ten years. An agent came and saw a play we did. She said: “Why aren’t you guys doing TV?” In 1989 we moved to LA. Our first show, Dream On, became a bit of a cult hit. Then we got another one, Family Album, on CBS and it was canceled quickly. We only had another month [in LA] to come up with something. We went: “Hey, why don’t we just do something about when we were in New York?” This wasn’t a “this was what TV needs” situation — it was very much “what can we write fast and connect to?” We pitched it, we sold it, we had to write fast.
The character they relate to
MK: I’m the person who tells people to close the marker pen until you hear the click. So all my Virgo qualities are very Monica. I’m very bossy.
DC: The fact Marta referred to Virgo qualities makes her a little bit of a Phoebe. I’m somewhere between Chandler and Ross: neurotic, second-guessing, using humor to deflect.
Sexual politics in the 1990s
DC: The guy who was in charge [an NBC executive] said: “We’re not going to like Monica because [in the pilot] she sleeps with a guy on the first date.” We made the argument that it makes her sympathetic. The network, in trying to prove that the audience wouldn’t like Monica if she sleeps with a guy on the first date, distributed a little questionnaire to the audience at our dress rehearsal. And it was so skewed. The question was like: “When Monica sleeps with a guy on her first date, is she a) a slut or b) a harlot?” And people wrote in saying: “No, it’s fine.”
On Chandler and Monica
MK: We thought it would be a one-night stand. But they received such a strong reaction from the audience in London that it actually altered where we were going with the storyline.
DC: The cliché is that British people are incredibly reserved, but they were so welcoming.
Rewatching it
MK: I watch it back on occasion when nobody’s going to see me doing it.
DC: I can watch it for like a minute. Sometimes I’m delighted, but more often I’m like: “Wow, really? That’s the joke? We couldn’t have spent five more minutes? That’s the joke?”
Today’s comedy shows
MK: I have a confession: I don’t watch TV comedy. Part of [the reason] is that so many characters have become so mean. They don’t act like any human beings I know.
Favorite episodes
MK: “The One with the Embryos.”
DC: “The One Where No One’s Ready.” The two moments I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard in my life were watching them push the couch up the stairs in “The One with the Cop” and David Schwimmer fighting with the cat on the balcony in “The One with the Blackout.”
Matthew Perry’s addiction issues
Matthew Perry suffered addiction issues during the filming of the series. He died in October last year after a ketamine overdose. This week multiple arrests were made in connection with his death.
DC: By the time we became aware of it, we were already a family on a lot of levels. There was a point where we said to him: “Do you want to stop [being in the show]?” And he was adamantly like: “No, this is really important to me.”
MK: He is the one I had the most contact with. About two weeks before [he died] he and I were FaceTiming and he seemed really good. Two things come to mind [about how to celebrate him]: one of them is to donate to drug treatment centers — let’s fight the disease. And the second way is to watch Friends and remember him not as a man who died like that but as a man who was hilariously funny and brought joy to everybody.
The One Who Directed It
Jim Burrows, director of the pilot and 14 other episodes, as well as Cheers, Frasier and Will & Grace
The script was sent to me. I said to my agent, “We have to find a way to do this show,” because it was so brilliantly written.
I remember the energy that was created in the pilot. You could feel it in your feet. I was brought up in the theater — my dad [Abe Burrows] was a playwright and director. He wrote Guys and Dolls. Theater is all about rhythm, so I would walk back and forth behind the cameras and listen to the rhythm to protect the integrity of the joke.
[After filming the pilot] I said to the head of the studio: “Can you give me the jet? I want to take these kids to Vegas for dinner because I think this will be a bonding experience.” We ate at Spago in Caesars Palace. I said to them over dinner: “This is your last shot at anonymity, to be able to walk through this casino after dinner with nobody knowing who you are. It’s never going to happen again.” We had a wonderful dinner, they gambled a little, we flew back. They’ve all gone on to do wonderful stuff and I’m really proud of them. Some of them still call me Papa. They were all funny in their own way, especially Matt Perry. Could he be any more funny?
Lisa [Kudrow] was part of the rehearsal process for the original Frasier pilot, playing Roz Doyle, Frasier’s producer. We needed somebody strong. I’m sure Lisa can play strong, but that’s not her best quality. We all agreed that she was not the best person for that role. I’m sure she hated me for a while and probably didn’t like the fact that I was directing the pilot of Friends. But now we’re great friends. She’s in the role she was born to play.
Friends is a show that will never die. As long as people are having children they’re going to watch this show. Because it’s six people who talk to one another. That doesn’t happen any more. There’s no cell phones in the show.
The One Who Was Ross’s Gay Ex-wife
Jane Sibbett (Carol Willick)
I auditioned for Rachel and as I left I immediately got the phone call: “They love you, they want you.” So I said: “Did you tell them I’m pregnant? … Tell them I would love to be part of the show in any way or form, how about the pregnant lesbian?”
When we were getting ready for the [lesbian] wedding episode, it was getting all this hostile hullabaloo and attention. A woman I had gone to church with called me saying she wanted to interview me and when I got on the call she said: “I just want you to know that you’re going to burn in Hell.” My dad and his third wife would have Bible study on Thursday nights at eight o’clock to make sure none of their friends would see Friends.
[As the show got famous] people would come up to me and squeal. The hardest part was when I would go to the toilet and someone would start talking to me through the door. I’ve had stalkers. It’s been pretty intense. But I have a big dog and people that watch out for me. And believe me, it’s nothing like what the main six have gone through.
The One Who Married Ross’s Gay Ex-wife
Jessica Hecht (Susan Bunch)
I had just come out to Los Angeles with this play that had won the Pulitzer prize, The Heidi Chronicles by Wendy Wasserstein. I didn’t even have an agent because I was such a theater rat. People landing jobs in television at that time were more classically beautiful — the blonde bombshell. So I didn’t think I had a real shot.
First they had me read for Courteney Cox’s part. Then they said: “Well, in reality there’s this character that they can’t find, she’s a lesbian, but they don’t want her to be super-butch. They want her to be a lipstick lesbian.” [Nowadays] they probably would give the part to someone who had a gay profile in their real life.
The gay wedding was a huge phenomenon at that time and I felt very proud of that. I received a lot of love letters from women. A lot of love letters from women in prison too.
[The six main actors] were so down to earth with me and with Jane, my wonderful wife on the show, because they knew us from the beginning. I stayed close to Jane, whom I love and have such a deep fondness for. [David Schwimmer] and I would talk about theater all the time. He ran a theater company and would be going back to do plays when he wasn’t doing television. I saw him in New York about a year ago. I [also] recently saw Lisa in New York doing a little workshop of a play. We reminisced. It felt like seeing someone from high school.
I did a film in 2020 called Banana Split and one of the twins [who played Ben, the son Ross raises with Carol and Susan] was in the film. Dylan Sprouse. He was so sweet and grown-up and handsome.
The One Who Was Ross’s Dad
Elliott Gould (Jack Geller)
I looked at the pilot and there didn’t seem to be too much for me to do in the show so I didn’t know if I would do it. Then they sent me a script and I noticed that Jim Burrows was the director. I had worked with his father, Abe — a great stage director with a wonderful comic mind — in the late Fifties in New York. Casting said: “Jim Burrows will kill us if we can’t deliver you to be the father.” So I said: “Great.” They told me NBC was programming it between Seinfeld and Mad About You, which is a very prestigious time for programming.
My prominent memories are of this group of young actors who were extremely enthusiastic, very bright and willing. Lisa Kudrow is hysterical, she was so brilliant when she had a crush on Jack. Christina Pickles [Mrs Geller], her partner and I occasionally get together for lunch.
I had an interview on TV with Rosie O’Donnell and I let the cliffhanger slip out about Rachel being at Ross’s London wedding. One of the producers, Kevin, was so angry with me. It’s a little embarrassing.
Everywhere I went people would recognize me as Mr Geller. At the 40th anniversary of Saturday Night Live, Taylor Swift came up to me and said: “I know you. I’m a Friends freak. You’re Mr Geller.” So that was pretty great.
The One Who Sang the Theme Song
Phil Solem, from the Rembrandts
Apparently they initially had tried to get REM, but they passed on it. So they picked us and fortunately Kevin Bright [the executive producer] was a fan.
Our manager at the time thought that we shouldn’t really want to be involved in television because it would change the course of our whole career. The climate in the music business for guys like us was: “You do not do a TV theme song because that will destroy your credibility.” We thought it was a really cool, fun pilot. So why wouldn’t we want to do it?
The director wanted to use the cast for the music video of ”I’ll Be There for You.” We spent two days filming loads of crazy, knuckleheaded stuff. Matthew Perry was the easiest to get along with. He and I spent a couple of nights at the bar in the hotel. James Michael Tyler [Gunther] was such a sweetheart. Every time I’d go to LA I’d hang out with him in Hollywood. He passed away just a couple of years ago. That was super-rough.
The song was definitely a blessing and a curse combined. I used to like to say it was the golden albatross. Some people have gone so far as to claim we’re some sort of one-hit wonder and nobody wants that. We’ve had at least one hit and others that were chartworthy. I have no regrets whatsoever about the song. In fact, I feel grateful for it.
The One Who Designed the Outfits
Debra McGuire, costume designer
Marta wanted everyone to be in jeans. I said: “Well, this show is aspirational. We want the audience to want to be them, want to be friends with them.” I lived in New York and I didn’t wear jeans ever. I still don’t. I was never totally on board. You’ll see there are still jeans in the show — Jennifer [Aniston] wears her fair share of denim jackets and stuff in the beginning — but it was a very big trend and I didn’t want to go with the trend.
The pink bridesmaid dress [that Rachel has to wear in “The One with Barry and Mindy’s Wedding”] is a great example of trying to make the ugliest outfit I possibly could. And yet the amount of inquiries I got about it from brides, Southern belles, who actually loved it.
When we shot in London I went to all the showrooms and made amazing connections. My favorite European designer had a tiny little shop in London. The dress everybody says is their favorite, the strapless yellow one that Jennifer wore [in “The One with All the Kissing”] was from that shop. And a lot of Phoebe’s dresses too.
I loved all the specialty stuff. I remember the Thanksgiving episode where Phoebe’s arm gets blown off when she’s a Civil War nurse [in a past life dream sequence]. That was amazing. I loved creating the look when Joey comes out with all of Chandler’s clothes on. Balenciaga ended up making a coat a couple of years ago based on that outfit. We needed a million leather trousers [for Ross in “The One with All the Resolutions”]. And they had to actually behave.
We never knew how [Matthew Perry] was going to come back after the summer. Is he going to be skinny? Is he going to be fat? Is he going to be an addict? Is he going to be clean?
It was the beginning of TV setting fashion trends. That didn’t exist before. Friends had a huge impact on the way young people dressed and I think there were outfits that were too provocative for young girls.
Now I get messages constantly on Instagram asking where they can buy the clothes. If I’m in a good mood, I’ll teach them how to make them.
The One Who Chose the Actors
Leslie Litt, casting director
[Marta and David] had some people in mind, like David Schwimmer [they wrote the character of Ross with him in mind]. He passed [on the role] and they kept going after him. Chandler was probably the hardest to cast. Then Matthew brought his special way of speaking and comedic skills and brought it to life. [He] and Jennifer Aniston were cast a few days before they started. I know Jimmy Fallon came in for an audition.
I remember asking for Julia Roberts [for a guest appearance] and her agent shot me down. I persisted. She was a fan of the show, which was shocking and exciting. And she did it. That opened the door for movie stars.
For the episodes that were shot in London I called Paul McCartney’s manager and asked if he would be interested in doing a guest slot. The next day someone said: “There’s a fax for you.” Paul had written me a letter saying how much he appreciated the interest, but he was just too busy. I have it framed.
During the London episodes my daughter, Lily Clare, who was five and a half months old, had to undergo open-heart surgery and she passed away. She had Williams syndrome, a neurogenetic birth condition. My husband and I decided to help a child with any neurogenetic birth condition, so we had a fundraiser and I asked Matthew [Perry] if he would host. Before I could finish the sentence he said yes. He helped put us on the map with the Lily Clare Foundation and we helped thousands and thousands of children; we became really big. Matthew was our spokesperson for, like, 15 years. He was a lovely person.
The One Who Created the Sets
John Shaffner, production designer
[Marta, David, my partner Joe Stewart and I] lived rather close to each other in New York. We had this easy communication about life in the city on a budget and being young. We knew the same neighborhoods — the East Village and the West Village had a lot of places we had been to. It was an automatic decision: the Friends cast live in the Village.
When we presented the model for the sets, they said to us: “Why are you building this hallway outside the door?” And I said: “Don’t you think the boys should live across the hall?”
There wasn’t really a place like [Central Perk] in Manhattan in the Nineties. There was nothing cozy. So we threw it back to the more bohemian era of the Sixties, with a coffee house where there would be a sofa where a person might come and play the guitar. One place we’d all been to in New York was a little restaurant called Arnold’s Turtle. It wasn’t a coffee house, but it was a reference to the kind of cozy place in the West Village [we wanted to create].
Kevin Bright said [of the girls’ apartment]: “I don’t want this to look like a landlord-painted white apartment. I want some color.” I said: “Well, what do you think about purple?” And they all looked at me like, “Purple?” And I said: “Deep lilac — it’s a feminine color and will be great with all the hair and skin tones we have in our cast.”
I said: “We have to do something about this door … I think we should probably do a peephole. What else can we do to this door to make it interesting?” The next day Greg [Grande, the set designer] said: “What do you think about this?” And he held up the picture frame over the peephole. The yellow goes great and I love the shape of it. It was whimsical.
When I travel and I’m buying something in a store, I always say: “Did you ever see Friends? Well, I designed the sets for that.” And I have a new friend immediately.
Blanca Schofield is the assistant editor of Culture & Books at The Times and The Sunday Times
