Best known for his role as Mark Zuckerberg in David Fincher’s The Social Network, Jesse Eisenberg has a knack for portraying complex, somewhat unlikable characters. He now plays David Kaplan—a husband, father, and tightly wound digital-ad salesman—whose foil is his spontaneous, volatile, lonely, and unemployed cousin, Benji Kaplan (Kieran Culkin). Directed and written by Eisenberg, A Real Pain follows the Kaplan cousins to Poland—where they take a Holocaust tour in an attempt to reconnect with their Jewish roots. The poignant and feel-good dramedy is inspired by the real-life Eisenberg family’s ties to the small Polish town of Krasnystaw. (Their house has a cameo in the movie.) To celebrate the film’s release, Eisenberg shares his least favorite things. —Carolina de Armas
Least favorite number: Three.
Least favorite color: Anything pastel.
Least favorite team: 1992–93 Bulls.
Preferred deadly sin: Sloth.
Food that makes you gag: Fried dough.
Book you never finished: Infinite Jest.
Film you walked out of: My own.
Song you never want to hear again: “Happy Birthday.”
character from history you most dislike:
1992–93 Phil Jackson.
item of clothing you would never wear: Tuxedo.
Worst form of transport: School bus.
Preferred form of revenge: Inner-rage-filled monologue.
Favorite curse word: “Fuckface.”
Least favorite habit (in you): O.C.D.
Least favorite habit (in others): Murder.
Least favorite apology: “Sorry I stole your computer earlier.”
Least favorite conversational topic: 1992–93 N.B.A. finals.
Least favorite present you’ve received: Cuff links for a tuxedo.
worst New York City moment:
Walking over the Brooklyn Bridge at sunset.
person you’d least like to share a lifeboat with: My friend Jeff because neither of us knows how to swim.
Words you’d hate to have spoken behind your back: “He’s right over there. That’s his back.”
Thing you said but wish you hadn’t: “Do you know what time Game Six of the 1992–93 N.B.A. finals is on?”
Thing you didn’t say but wish you had: “Will you marry me?” Earlier.
Worst advice you’ve ever got: “Be yourself.”
Worst advice you’ve ever given: “I don’t think there are any trains running through that tunnel anymore.”
Last words before execution: “I shouldn’t have eaten all that fried dough as a last meal.”
Jesse’s Inessentials
