Elon Musk leapt, as it were, into first place in the most recent Attention-Whore Index, dislodging Donald Trump, who’d enjoyed five straight weeks at the top. In a historic A.W.I. moment, these top two finishers (40.9 percent and 30.7 percent, respectively) shared a stage—and a photo: the airborne billionaire ascending several vertical inches, rather less than his SpaceX Starship booster did, alongside the permanently earthbound former president.
What else? A respectful nod to fan favorite Marjorie Taylor Greene, polling a decent 11.3 percent on the strength of a single declaration: that “they” (Democrats, presumably) had lately been busy manufacturing and weaponizing hurricanes. Greene’s third-place finish was a reminder that just one well-timed doozy can land you in the money.
The nominees in this week’s edition of the Attention-Whore Index Poll are …
1.
ELON MUSK
The planet’s richest—and, with 200 million followers on X, most read—person forwarded a claim that FEMA was “actively blocking shipments and seizing goods and services” amid Hurricane Helene response efforts, and posted that the agency had “used up its budget ferrying illegals into the country instead of saving American lives. Treason.” FEMA said the misinformation was “causing problems for Helene survivors, some of whom are being dissuaded from seeking help,” according to Politico. The National Guard witnessed “armed militia” threatening emergency responders. (One man was later arrested.) And The Washington Post reported that anti-Semitic attacks, including “wild claims that Jewish officials are conspiring to orchestrate the disasters, sabotage the recovery or even seize victims’ property, are being fomented largely on Elon Musk’s X.” What a guy.
2.
TAYLOR SWIFT
Got plenty of screen time sitting in a suite with Travis Kelce at Yankee Stadium during the broadcast of Game One of the A.L.C.S. between the Yankees and the Guardians—at least as much as omnipresent fan Spike Lee and certainly more than most of the bench players—to the annoyance of some non-Swifties. “They’re already on TV enough in football, we don’t need them here too,” one grumble-posted.
3.
DONALD TRUMP
During a speech in California, the man who recently tried to assure women that “I will be your protector” reacted to a heckler by suggesting that she go home and get “the hell knocked out of her.” Called Kamala Harris “retarded.” Remained, apparently, too afraid to debate her again, sit for interviews, or release his tax returns and medical records. Bizarrely “danced” onstage for 39 minutes at a Pennsylvania town hall after medical emergencies in the crowd cut short a Q&A. (“Let’s make it into a music,” he announced, slurring.) Insisted that Aurora, Colorado, contrary to the opinion of its Republican mayor, had become a “war zone” overrun by “savage gangs” of Venezuelan “animals.” Said that as president he would use the U.S. military on Americans. No wonder the Trump-appointed former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Mark Milley, told Bob Woodward, “[Trump] is now the most dangerous person to this country … a fascist to the core.”
4.
SILVIO BERLUSCONI
Dead more than a year, the former prime minister “remains a potent presence” in Italy, said The New York Times. “His face is on stamps and campaign posters for his party, on cellphone covers, mugs and T-shirts.” More specifically, the newspaper reported that 14 years after Berlusconi’s notorious “Bunga Bunga” bashes, a court case over alleged payments for sex at the parties drags on for Karima el-Mahroug, back then a teenage nightclub dancer known as Ruby Heart-Stealer. “He messed up my life,” she said recently—and, it would seem, he still does.
5.
KRISTI NOEM
The South Dakota governor, whose desperate bid for a spot on the Republican ticket was derailed after she published a memoir—you remember, the one about proudly shooting her dog—introduced Trump at that Pennsylvania town hall/senior-center rave. In her remarks, Noem touched first on policy (“Kamala Harris sucks. Right? She sucks”), before teeing up the candidate with a hard-to-interpret “When I first saw him announce for president in 2016, I watched him on TV—I was sitting at home—come down the golden escalator … I remember sitting there thinking, ‘Who does that?’” Our thoughts exactly.
6.
GERALDO RIVERA
The publicity-shy former Fox News host and onetime Trump ally endorsed Kamala Harris for president. “Former President Trump is a sore loser who cannot be trusted to honor the Constitution,” Rivera posted on X. “If you are a Republican, Donald Trump has made a liar of you. He has coaxed and intimidated tens of millions into pretending he was reelected in 2020, and that the election was stolen.”
7.
HEIDI KLUM and KATE MOSS
Klum and her 20-year-old daughter, Leni, filmed each other in their underwear as part of the Intimissimi lingerie campaign on Instagram, and apparently enjoyed it—although online reaction suggested some viewers didn’t. (“Weird and inappropriate,” “Quite strange to do this with your mum,” etc.) Moss and her 22-year-old daughter, Lila, meanwhile, both took to the runway for the Victoria’s Secret show in New York, also in lingerie—but in this case, “fans called the mother/daughter duo modeling together ‘iconic,’” according to the Daily Mail. Double standard? Good idea? Bad idea? Maybe it was just Take Your Daughter to Work Day.
8.
AARON RODGERS
Back to playing football after having lost his shot at being vice president of the United States—he was, as we have tried and failed to block out, on R.F.K. Jr.’s short list of potential running mates. When the Jets dismissed head coach Robert Saleh five games into the season, conspiracy-minded fans—the sort chemtrail-buff Rodgers might appreciate—speculated about whether the quarterback undermined Saleh by playing badly, leading to his canning. After the Jets lost again last week and dropped to 2–4, Rodgers blasted the officials (for calling 22 penalties), his own team (“Terrible … this was a giveaway”), and specifically receiver Mike Williams (“I have a lot of love and respect for Mike. He does some nice things for us. On that play he wasn’t in the right spot.… We all should be held to a standard”). Well, anyway, it sure provides a better soapbox than the vice presidency. —George Kalogerakis
George Kalogerakis, a Writer at Large at AIR MAIL, worked at Spy, Vanity Fair, and The New York Times, where he was deputy op-ed editor. He is a co-author of Spy: The Funny Years and a co-editor of Disunion: A History of the Civil War
