When Abigail turned six, in 1994, her parents changed. Spankings went from every two or three weeks to every three or four days, for tiny offenses, like if she said “mom” too many times. Her new baby sister cried during playtime, but her parents didn’t seem to respond much. A year later, when the baby moved into her room, the little girl would cry in the middle of the night. Abigail would console her, not Mom and Dad.
There were so many new rules. Suddenly, she was forbidden from interrupting her parents. “I wasn’t allowed to say, ‘Hey, Mom, there’s something wrong,’” Abigail, whose name has been changed for this story, tells me. “I had to put my hand on her arm and wait for her to acknowledge me.’” Another rule: “I wasn’t allowed to ask why.” Abigail, now 35, was taught “first-time obedience”—if her mom asked her to do something, she had to say, “Yes, ma’am,” and immediately do it. If she hesitated or didn’t verbally respond, she got spanked.
