It’s been six months of Russia’s genocidal war in Ukraine, and the fact that I am still alive, free, and at home—unlike so many others—has never seemed so completely random. A privilege of living on this side of the border, where the horrifying sounds of shooting are still fireworks. A different—lesser!—kind of horror: the reality of silence, state oppression, guilt, and isolation are starting to grow into me. The question is: How much adaptation and conformity is needed to survive in this totalitarian bubble—but not surrender to it?
The protest in Russia is no longer loud and obvious—most opposition leaders who are still alive are either imprisoned or have been forced to leave. Anti-war protesters now operate from underground, and the action takes mostly partisan and obscure forms: from sabotaging railways to going on a personal strike (the “anti-war medical leave”). And protests are occupying all forms of art and media communication that are accessible.
