Before I change my name and flee to Panama, let me just say this about lab-grown diamonds: the received wisdom is baloney. They are not greener or more ethical than mined. They’re cheaper. Don’t buy them for any other reason. There. I’m off now.

The recent history of diamonds goes like this. Eighty billion dollars’ worth of jewelry sold in 2018. Ditto 2019. In early 2020 the pandemic hit. Sales fell off a cliff while everybody stayed home and ransacked the Internet for toilet paper. Then, a few months later, all stocked up on bathroom essentials and finding themselves still solvent, people started buying diamonds again.