“Sea-to-Lake” is “Mar-a-Lago” translated from Spanish. Feigning loss in translation is exactly how you should plan an uninvited visit to Donald Trump’s Palm Beach club. It’s incredibly easy to get in, compared with the pre–January 2021 days of Secret Service agents and background checks. Trump’s people are back in charge now, so it’s become a lot like Jimmy Carter’s old peanut farm in Georgia, at least in terms of security.

Reasons for wanting to be there are plentiful. You can appreciate the gaudy 1927 architecture, snuggle into the yellow pool towels, and hazard a nibble off of the weird menu, not to mention the chance to mingle with wealthy QAnon believers. All at the modest price of bypassing a membership system not unlike Soho House’s but for gun owners. If you’re smart, you can even sleep there. (Technically, only members can book rooms, which go for roughly $2,000 a night; non-members need a member to sponsor them, either to get in or to book a room.)