I like to watch people get eaten by sharks.
I cannot explain, but I do.
I admit it’s a bit of a gory delight,
But who doesn’t thrill to the frightening sight
Of a fin on its way to a bite?

Be still, oh my heart. This Monday’s the start
Of Shark Week, which is not for the meek.
For days on TV, there’ll be blood in the sea.
Imagine my glee. Can you hear me go “Whee!”?
Once I was wary of things wet and scary,
But now, more and more, I’m attracted to gore.