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December 28 2019
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It’s not what you think. This is Canada, after all. Well, it’s sort of what you think.

Anybody who’s ever slipped away for a romantic winter weekend in the frozen north—and who hasn’t fantasized about a special anniversary getaway in Moose Jaw?—is well aware of the ins and outs of sex in Canada. “Pulling the Goalie,” “the Bernie Faloney,” and “the Queensway” are as familiar to Canadians as the missionary position is to their American partners in shame. But to fully understand the Canadian way of love and romance is to give in to your inner cold person. Herewith, some of the men behind the classics of The Canadian Kama Sutra. (Available in paperback at all Tim Hortons outlets and throughout the entire Canadian Tire chain!)

Fergus Ferguson

Canadian Love Oil

You’ve got to hand it to Fergus Ferguson, the “Rudolph Valentino of Canada.” Fergus’s brilliance? Back in the 40s, he takes maple syrup, then just a regional breakfast topping, and with a bit of humbuggery and some clever marketing, turns it into an amorous love potion—with a northern twist. Sold like hotcakes! (In fact, it was often sold with hotcakes.) Thus was born Canadian Love Oil. Motto: “Smooth, sweet, and doesn’t freeze. Plus, in a pinch, it can substitute for 5W-40 motor oil!”

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