October 19, 2019

His Excellency
Recep Tayyip Erdogon
President of the Republic of Turkey

Dear Mr. President!

You’re welcome! And by the way, thank you for your incredible invitation for a return visit to the presidential palace in the Ataturk Forrest! Can I say how much I love what youv have done to the place! Last time we dropped by, I remember being especially wowed by the wall coverings in gold and goat foreskin. We all felt that the combo created a beautiful warm luster as the sun went down. As a second-term gift to myself, I’m contemplating a similar design element for the private quarters in the White House.

Regarding your offer to purchase some of the migrants we have picked up at the border, I have bad news. As much as Steven Miller and I love the idea, Pompeo reminded me that they are already promised to President Dutarte.

Should this situation change, I would be more than happy to revisit the matter. Maybe hop on a call with me and Rudy early next week?

Sincerely, or as your people might say, Kürt halkına lanet olsun!