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October 19 2019
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October 19, 2019

His Excellency
Recep Tayyip Erdogon
President of the Republic of Turkey
Ankara

Dear Mr. President!

You’re welcome! And by the way, thank you for your incredible invitation for a return visit to the presidential palace in the Ataturk Forrest! Can I say how much I love what youv have done to the place! Last time we dropped by, I remember being especially wowed by the wall coverings in gold and goat foreskin. We all felt that the combo created a beautiful warm luster as the sun went down. As a second-term gift to myself, I’m contemplating a similar design element for the private quarters in the White House.

Regarding your offer to purchase some of the migrants we have picked up at the border, I have bad news. As much as Steven Miller and I love the idea, Pompeo reminded me that they are already promised to President Dutarte.

Should this situation change, I would be more than happy to revisit the matter. Maybe hop on a call with me and Rudy early next week?

Sincerely, or as your people might say, Kürt halkına lanet olsun!

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