Remember willpower? It drove you to your first Weight Watchers meeting, kicked you into step-aerobics class, bullied you to toss out your last disgusting Marlboro Light. And by “you,” I mean me. If all those examples sound dated, that’s because willpower itself seems to be a relic of the 90s. Who needs it when Ozempic and Mounjaro promise to neuter the desire for food, perhaps alcohol, and maybe everything else you crave?
And yet, after scouring Net-a-Porter for the third time today and scanning five Substack newsletters, each extolling the perfection of trousers from the Row, High Sport for travel, and Loewe for everything else, I’m feeling weak. Oh, look: the Kelly bag of my dreams has landed on the RealReal.
We’re surrounded by seductions in ways our ancestors couldn’t begin to fathom. And someone’s here to help our weakening resolve. Roy F. Baumeister is the leading expert on willpower and the co-author, with John Tierney, of Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength. Yes, that’s right: “the greatest human strength.” Baumeister believes that self-control is, not hyperbolically, “psychology’s best hope for contributing to human welfare,” he writes. “Willpower lets us change ourselves and our society in small and large ways.”
Baumeister’s extensive research found that people spend about 25 percent of their waking hours resisting temptation, or around four hours a day, which sounds modest to me. This study, not coincidentally, pre-dated Instagram and TikTok. “Now there are so many more temptations within reach to the average person,” he tells me. You don’t say?
With every sesame-focaccia sandwich or fluffy coconut cake we linger over on Instagram comes a gradual erosion of self-control. It’s like wandering past a buffet over and over until you can no longer resist the Camembert. “It’s a pattern of depleted willpower when you use your self-control to say no to all these things,” Baumeister says. “But each one takes a little bit out of you.”
And if you suspect that each pastry or Prada sweater becomes more enticing every time you see it, you are correct. “Some new findings show that when your willpower is depleted, the temptations actually feel stronger,” says Baumeister. “Not only do you have less power of resistance, the desires and feelings are more intense.”
Willpower is like a muscle that fatigues with use. Sleep deprivation and stress can weaken it, which is why writers (ahem) eat M&Ms when they’re on deadline and half the population spoons ice cream from carton to mouth whenever they contemplate the next four years. Lack of sleep also disrupts the hormones leptin and ghrelin, which regulate hunger and satiety. With that, the brain becomes more attuned to food rewards and calorie-dense dishes become even harder to resist.
One of the most effective ways to limit food and alcohol is to draw a red line that you won’t allow yourself to cross. That’s why intermittent fasting works so well. It’s a lot easier to vow not to eat before noon or after eight p.m. than to negotiate with yourself throughout the day. Same for alcohol. While moderation and “mindful drinking” sound appealing, they require a fresh surge of willpower for each new situation. Cutting down is no picnic, says Baumeister. “To say, ‘Well, I’m going to have two drinks a day, and once a week I can have more.’ … that takes a lot more discipline.” With each effort, the willpower muscle begins to fatigue. “It’s easier just to say no.” Easier, yes—but not easy.
Simpler still is to inject a GLP-1 drug such as Ozempic or Mounjaro, which can quiet the cravings for food, alcohol, and, early data suggests, nicotine and various compulsive behaviors. One small study found that these drugs reduce addicts’ desire for opioids by 40 percent. By working on a neurotransmitter in the brain that affects its reward system, they free up the willpower muscle to tackle other issues.
If you don’t want to take Ozempic—and I’m now questioning why I haven’t—there are reliable ways to strengthen your inner resolve. Getting enough sleep and reducing stress are obvious first steps, given that willpower requires energy. Performing a low-stakes exercise has also been proven to improve overall self-control. Baumeister and his colleagues asked a group to work on their posture, sitting up straight whenever they thought about it. After two weeks, those who were most diligent about following this advice found that they had more self-control in other areas of their lives.
One effective strategy is to commit to having that cookie, glass of wine, or cigarette in an hour if you still want it. And, according to one study, many people discover they don’t want it later. The craving for a particular food is usually transient, lasting just three to five minutes. And then, poof. Diet coaches often instruct their clients to navigate a restaurant by ignoring the bread basket and dessert menu. Perhaps it’s just as well no one can get into Carbone.
For those who still make New Year’s resolutions: impressive! One study found that of the 41 percent of Americans who make them, only 9 percent succeed in keeping them by the end of the year. Baumeister has advice on that front, too. Tackle goals one at a time, starting with the easiest. “And when it gets established,” he says, “that will strengthen your willpower and give you a better chance of succeeding at the next one.” The hope is that, over time, the new behavior requires less energy and struggle until it becomes automatic.
And if all else fails, there’s no shame in Mounjaro. Charles Darwin said, “The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.” Our appetites could use a little help, too.
Linda Wells is the Editor at Air Mail Look
