Remember when lounging in the sun was a legitimate activity? When the fantasy was living in a Bain de Soleil ad, all bandeau bikini and glistening bronzed skin? Oh, look! Here comes a waiter delivering a bottle of fine wine and a tube of Orange Gelée S.P.F. 2. You can almost taste the vices.
There’s no lounging now. If you happen to recline by a pool for a moment, your fitness tracker will badger you about standing up. And that’s the least of it. There’s also no glistening whatsoever. Instead, you are ghosting, covered in so much white goo and/or sun-protective clothing that you might as well be wearing a hazmat suit.
