Most married or long-term couples want to have a fulfilling love life. And yet so many of them sabotage it and end up having little or no sex. Often they don’t realize that their unconscious fears, their beliefs and little habits are blocking their capacity for intimacy, desire and connection. People might avoid intimacy when they feel stressed. Or if there’s a misunderstanding, they shut down instead of communicating what they need. Or they criticize their body before their partner does.
Silence creates resentment and distance. What you’re telling the other person is, I prefer my phone to you. People forget that emotional intimacy is foreplay. A lot of phone use is anxiety driven, but if you want to feel calm you’re applying the wrong tool. Ask yourself: “Why am I doing this? What am I trying to distract myself from or numb?”
