In the run-up to the 97th Academy Awards, we saw Demi Moore in Schiaparelli, Cynthia Erivo in Givenchy, and Mikey Madison in Prada waltzing down the various carpets with all the charm we expect from our movie stars. The nominees’ roles were often overshadowed by the P.R. messaging from their contracted designers, jewelers, and makeup brands. For shame!

Don’t worry. I’m not getting in the dramaturgical weeds. Instead, I’d like to keep it superficial and imagine the beauty preferences of each of these Oscar-nominated characters.