“Are we going to kiss now?” My friend asked, as she pounced on me in the alleyway behind a bar in Brooklyn. I had forgotten how good it felt. Not just to be kissed—but to be kissed unexpectedly, to be pounced on wildly.
“I don’t know why you make jokes about your penis,” she whispered. She was sizing it up through my pants. “You have nothing to joke about.” When people talk about my penis in the presence of my penis, it notices.
Eventually, we stopped kissing and headed home. She had just broken up with a long-term live-in partner. But I was still thinking about my penis. Specifically, if it was up to the task.
Which is why Viagra is such a gift—even those without erectile dysfunction can conclude that it makes their penises just a little bit…better. Stronger. More hardworking and indefatigable. It figures that recreational use of Viagra is hot again. Apparently, I’m not alone. Matt Gaetz, the former congressman, allegedly bragged to colleagues that he snorted E.D. meds and pounded energy drinks to stay erect.
Men worrying about their penises is good for the economy. Viagra is a $3 billion business in the U.S. in 2025 that’s projected to reach $7 billion in 2035. The best thing about Viagra is that you don’t necessarily have to have anything wrong to take it. An estimated 30 million American men experience erectile dysfunction. But the medicine works whether you’re having issues or not.
I asked an older friend, Rodney, if he’d ever taken Viagra. “Oh my God, Jim,” he said, grabbing his head with both hands. “It made me a creature of the night.” I questioned nearly every friend, but no others were as forthcoming. Several got a dewy, knowing look in their eyes. Some added a few wordless smirks.
So in the name of journalism, I went to ro.co, an online healthcare provider that offers all kinds of remedies. One of their practitioners had previously prescribed Zepbound to me with very little friction. I set up a telehealth appointment, asked for Viagra, and while the doctor questioned me about another medication I was taking, I lied about it like a good American. The pills arrived within 24 hours.
I am “between partners” at the moment, as I like to call my relationship status, but I took a pill in a non-sexual situation just to see. Would I, too, become a “creature of the night”? I put on C-SPAN, one of the least erotic TV channels. When Rep. Lauren Boebert started talking, I worried that it would throw off my experiment. I found a channel with a rabbi giving a long monologue. Perfect.
Performance during sex is not the end-all, be-all. I definitely like thinking about sex more than I like having sex. The lingering memory of having been pounced on by my friend has lived beyond that fleeting moment. The experience left me buzzing. And the Zepbound has left my normally obvious gut less noticeable. So maybe I am feeling sexier.
Viagra definitely brought a hot flush to my face, like I had jogged up the stairs or eaten a big bowl of hot soup. It did not make me feel hornier. But once things got started on my own, I definitely noticed the difference. The blood felt like it was flowing better. Overall, hell yeah, things went very well. More sensitivity, more endurance, more intense orgasm. I would recommend it.
I was still semi-erect 15 minutes later. That was odd. My penis is usually off or on. I can see why men like this feeling. Sex is great. But you know what is even better than sex? Not having to worry about your performance during sex.
Over the next few weeks, I took around five more pills just to experiment. And walking around feeling like you’re under the influence of Viagra makes one more conscious of every light breeze, every brush of fabric. I started thinking about Aubrey Plaza on the 1 train, as one is wont to do, and I definitely felt a rush of blood all over.
At this point, you may be wondering, how does it work in real-life situations?
I returned to the bar with my aforementioned kissing friend. Just having taken a pill but not expecting sex, would my friend be able to notice any difference? How would it hold up under a “Squeeze the Charmin” test?
We drank and danced to country music all night, ending up in bed at dawn. She felt me through my pants again, searching. She said it again: “You have nothing to make fun of.” Erection approved.
Ultimately, Viagra can be a nice thing to have in your back pocket, like breath mints or a condom or cologne. For the many men suffering from erectile dysfunction, Viagra is a no-brainer. If you’re just hoping to make sure the gears are greased, having one takes performance-related anxiety off the table. And for having a good time for good times’ sake, you can’t go wrong. Thank you, Big Pharma.
Jim Behrle is a poet living in New York City
