Gentlemen! Now that we’ve taken back the House, it’s time to dress for legislative success—as we pin the woke Democrats to the mat with our timeless combination of substance and style.
I’ve just returned from my annual congressional fact-finding tour to the winter convocation of Pitti Uomo—the men’s-wear trade show in Florence, where I was scouting for upcoming trends that Patriots of Distinction will be rocking during the current 118th session of Congress, and well beyond, into the 2024 presidential-campaign season. Pitti is my source—my wellspring, my go-to inspiration—for the latest in sprezzatura: the studied and purposeful nonchalance I try to exhibit by never wearing a suit jacket, whether investigating our weaponized F.B.I. up on Capitol Hill or railing about Hunter Biden on Fox News.
So what can I tell you, beyond the emergence of a more refined silhouette with a Milanese cut and natural shoulders? (If you do favor jackets.) What was tasty?
My lookbook these days is filled with utilitarian but inspirational shades of brown and gray: F-18 Super Hornet–flying–over–the–Strait–of–Taiwan thunder gray; Border Patrol chestnut mare, overwhelmed by Biden’s Border Crisis–muddy–water brown. Mmmm. Yummy. For this season, I’m really liking the early-spring Carhartt hunting jackets at Bass Pro Shops/Cabela’s, and the latest in Milwaukee Construction gear at the Home Depot. Especially when you sprezz them up with something totally unexpected, like a Brunello Cucinelli cashmere polo, along with a pair of bespoke Cleverley monk straps.
So tasty!
The key is all-day comfort: something that will have you looking fresh at the eight A.M. breakfast with a defense-industry lobbyist, the one P.M. lunch with an oil lobbyist, the three o’clock House Judiciary Committee hearing where you eviscerate a Deep State thug, and the evening’s glamorous N.R.A. fundraiser. You can dress your look up (add an AK-47 lapel pin!) or dress your look down (lose the red tie and go for yellow!). It doesn’t matter either way, so long as you’re periodically in front of a camera, yelling.
That said, I’m going to leave you with my three final fashion tips for the new season:
1. Watch that pant break! Sorry, Lindsey, but the short-hemmed-trouser/no-socks/bare-ankle-with-a-dress-shoe look does not exude command presence, even at a lawn party in Charleston, South Carolina. Rather than eliciting a definitive “Yes, sir! What can I do for you, sir?,” you’re far more likely to hear, “Can you recommend a dry but not too mineral Riesling from upper Marin County?”
2. Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Meaning: no pantsuits or hijabs on the ladies; aviators really only work if you’re piloting a 737 out of O’Hare; and leave the sweatpants and hoodie “I live in a war zone” look to Volodymyr Zelensky.
3. No matter who you are, no matter where you go, and no matter what the invitation says, you can never go wrong in a red MAGA cap.
Congressman Jim Jordan has loved the touchy-feely, sweaty world of men’s fashion ever since he donned his first skintight singlet as a college wrestler. You can buy his Sartorial Starter Pack (featuring a powder-blue Uniqlo slim-fit dress shirt, a Donald J. Trump Signature model extra-long yellow silk tie, and a pair of gold-toned presidential cuff links) at fine men’s-wear shops everywhere
