Editor’s note: Whether designing shoes or public-health policy, Ivanka Trump knows the importance of keeping a tight schedule. This peek at a day in the former First Daughter’s current life shows how it’s possible to pursue one’s passions even in Florida. To be successful, all a woman needs is big dreams, hard work, and access to a $2 billion Saudi slush fund.
6:30 A.M.: Wake up pretty.
6:35 A.M.: Text Miami weather to N.Y.C. friends.
6:55 A.M.: Eat breakfast / Watch Fox & Friends / See how Ainsley Earhardt stole my look. (Does that mean Sean Hannity wants to do me???😏)
7:30 A.M.: Drop kids at school, only say hi to moms who aren’t haters.
7:45 A.M.: Meditation to clear mind (Easy!) then yoga (Hard!).
8:00 A.M.: Run neighborhood loop—bring Jared’s book to drop off at Little Libraries.
8:30 A.M.: Shower and quickie with J (a.k.a. Mr. Dimples).
8:50 A.M.: Trademark “Mr. Dimples” in China.
9:45 A.M.: Interview book agents about writing memoir. Working title: I, Ivanka.
10:57 A.M.: Flip coin to decide whether to side with Don Jr. against Eric, or Eric against Don Jr., in Trump Org fraud suit.
11:00 A.M.: Family Zoom w/ criminal-defense lawyers / scroll TikTok.
11:45 A.M.: Call travel agent—ask about non-extradition countries: Fiji schools? North Korea synagogues?
12:30 P.M.: Drugstore to pick up Adderall for Dadderall. 😉
1:00 P.M.: Quick shoe shop to scout for cute designs to get super-inspired by. (Take photos!)
1:30 P.M.: Lunch w/ Paris Hilton. (Reservation at Trump Doral—do NOT order the fish.)
2:30 P.M.: Actively not participating in any real-estate transactions in New York State, i.e., “me time.”
3:30 P.M.: Dermatology appt. (Tell doc I was able to use a straw last week—unacceptable!)
4:00 P.M.: Gown fitting for swanky St. Paddy’s party at Mar-a-Lago. (Hard out at 4:20 to avoid bumping into Kimberly G.)
4:30 P.M.: Zoom w/ speech therapist to practice breathy voice.
5:00 P.M.: Meet w/ architect at new house, discuss ventilation in Mr. Dimples™’s bathroom. (All that Middle Eastern food!)
6:15 P.M.: Family dinner. Lesson for kids today: “If you can get away with something, that’s on them, not you.”
8:00 P.M.: Read Harry Potter to kids. Explain how Voldemort is the real victim.
9:00 P.M.: Couples’ massage. Hold hands while others knead and arouse our bodies.
10:00 P.M.: Make Mr. Dimples™ pin his Hungarian Order of Merit medal on his pj’s. Cosplay Prince & Princess of Wales.
11:00 P.M.: Dream of Justin Trudeau. (Hahaha, don’t even know why I’d put this on the schedule.)
Ivanka Trump is an internationally famous and universally beloved model, designer, author, policy expert, diplomat, daughter, wife, mom, and her own independent self and not at all a nepo baby
