“Yeah, well, it hurts when you stab me with your words.”
Small Talk
“Watch your tone with me, young man, or you’ll be playing board games tonight.”
Small Talk
“Ice-age deniers.”
Small Talk
The miracle of Jesus walking on eggshells.
Small Talk
“Bad luck, Sir!”
Small Talk
“Instead of a three-hour play with 20 performers, what about a single performer, alone onstage, telling jokes for 30 minutes?”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Sure, you remember me. I’m the guy who collapsed here last night … right in front of you … and had to be rushed to the hospital.”
Small Talk
“The press briefings have picked up since they added the laugh track.”
Small Talk
“I’m invisible to all men.”
Small Talk
“The next downtown local train has entered a rift in the space-time continuum, and will arrive in 3027.”
Small Talk
“I went to a school in Boston.”
Small Talk
“Stand back, give him air.”
Small Talk
“I assure you, Chuck is completely stable—no need to question his sanity. Nope, perfectly fine. Better than fine—great! Chuck’s doing great. Now onto the quarterly report.”
Small Talk
“Of course I still love you. It’s just that after all these years your pheromones stimulate my desire to read.”
Small Talk
“Table three needs ketchup.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Today’s special is a blue-foot turkey leg cured in pine-needle juice, served with willow-bark home fries and wild honey mushrooms in a burnt corn sauce.”
Small Talk
“Let me guess—you stayed late at your buddy’s place helping him with a, quoth, poem.”
Small Talk
“Sometimes I feel like all we have left is our top-flight education, our generational wealth, and our secure place in the business-world boys’-club network.”
Small Talk
“He’s got the ball, he’s at the 30, the 20, the 10, he’s running past the end zone, he’s leaving the stadium, he’s meeting his wife at the train station, they’re getting on the 3:27 to Hudson Station and buying a small home near the Catskills, they’re raising a family, they’re watching their kids grow old, he’s getting sick, he passes away peacefully in his sleep, he’s at his funeral—and folks—it’s a beautiful ceremony! What a game!”
