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“You’re unhappy now? Just wait.”
“When dealing with Americans, refer to the heat in Celsius. They hate that.”
“Shall I let your wife know you’re home, or do you both like surprises?”
“Dear Helen, freelance work remains lucrative, but stressful.”
“Oh, look—they’re retiring the word ‘unprecedented.’”
“Nope! I’m old, fat, and male—I wouldn’t stand a chance out there.”
“Yes, yes, we love you, too. What’s your Netflix password?”
“I prefer the sunset’s earlier, Impressionist work.”
“I just keep asking myself, ‘What are we not sniffing?’”
“Remember, son: give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to write search-engine-optimized content, and you feed him for a lifetime.”
“You got this, gents! Sore today, strong tomorrow! Obstacles are opportunities!”
“I’m sorry, honey. But sometimes life is going to treat you fairly.”
“No, the billboards are not based on our search history.”
“I got Pfizer, I got Moderna, I got AstraZeneca.”
“I fly south for the winter, and north for the bagels!”
“Politics has divided everything.”
“I told you this would be better than a bird feeder. Heh. I’ll go brew some coffee.”
