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“All the good band names are taken by micro-breweries.”
“The curse has been set—your ex’s shoes will now squeak in the quietest of settings.”
Spray cheese of the gods.
“Apologies … the couple slated to appear in this cartoon have gone out to eat with friends.”
“Why did I choose a teenage sidekick?”
“The first bill is always a shock—everyone thinks heaven will be free.”
“Maybe we should keep working from home.”
“Here, you forgot one.”
“I wish there was a way to distinguish this flag from the ones they used on January 6.”
“It’s a proposal about an idea for a concept.”
“True, we could be soaring through the emerald corridors of sunset. What’s your point?”
“O.K., we’re through with the animal-testing phase.”
Seconds before the children find out that Aunt Patty uses the f-word …
“There’s no bad cop. We just let social media pressure you into a confession.”
“Statistically speaking, there’s got to be at least one woman in there who’s looking for the awkward, sensitive type.”
“They’ll bring the check without your full signature, Clive.”