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“Yes, I get it. You love him unconditionally and will welcome him with open arms always, but you have to admit he’s kind of the worst.”
“Is this Orwellian or Kafka-esque?”
“Now get to chiseling.”
“Apparently removing my reproductive organs wasn’t enough.”
“Does the court promise to listen to me? Really listen?”
“No, you’ve got it right. Hammer second to last, then mace all the way to the outside.”
“The irony is I’ve always considered myself a champion of the little guy.”
“Wait—we can vote?”
“Now don’t do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once.”
“I told you it was too soon to ride the subway.”
“They were apparently more advanced than we thought.”
“Good evening, and welcome to the Situation Room.”
“I haven’t finished saying no yet.”
“I thought we’d decided on the gold-leaf pattern.”
“We need to replace our mission statement with an excuse.”
“So the buttons, beads, rings, nuts, keys, bolts, and baubles go in the offshore account, and we’ll report the nail.”
“It’s been a stressful school year.”
“The beheading only made him meaner.”