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“Of course the cow jumped you for the promotion—the guy is a ruthless social climber. Nobody likes him. Look at that fake smile. You don’t want that life. Ugh, I’m sorry, man. Lunch on me today, O.K.? Whaddya want? You want Thai?”
“And I’m telling you it looks exactly like the picture. See?”
“It’s time you started thinking about your future, young man … ”
“I don’t take off the mask until the third date.”
“Look, Keith, they kept our potting sheds!”
Working from home.
“There has to be a better way to remember the way back.”
“Hey, look! The restaurants are opening back up.”
“It’s getting hard to find a good public bathroom.”
“It’s different when they’re your own.”
“I only regret that I have but one life to lose to prove this is a hoax.”
“I’ll talk, I’ll talk! Just turn off the director’s cut.”
“It walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, but personally I have my doubts.”
“He died doing what he loved.”
“O.K., who can tell me what he did wrong?”
“I guess that 30-days-of-clean-eating thing you’re doing really flushes out your ability to talk about anything else.”
“I love the smell of unmitigated quagmire in the morning.”
“Your mistake was being so hospitable to humans.”
“I should be home at the regular time … unless the charges stick.”